Recently, at our final IEP meeting for Kay, one of the IEP team members remarked about how strong I have been over the years. Of course, I just smiled and said thank you.
I’ve heard this a few times during many of Kay’s trials and tribulations. Each and every time, I hear those words, I cringe a little inside. I completely understand what they are trying to say and I’m grateful for it.
What choice did I have?
I couldn’t walk away from her when the doctors diagnosed her with a brain injury, developmental delay, and vision issues. She needed her parents if she was to have a fighting chance at a normal life. The future was unclear for her. We barely knew what we were doing as first-time parents. We knew nothing about brain injuries, seizure disorders, or developmental delays.
She is my daughter and I was determined to do all I could for her.
I’ll be honest.. there were many times, I didn’t feel “strong.” There were days when all I wanted to was breakdown and cry. Times where I wanted to run away from it all. There were even days where I questioned every decision we made and even my faith in God as well as myself.
Why did God give this child to me? Was I the right person to be her mother?
Over the years, I realized exactly why Kay was given to Dan and I. Kay has taught me so much over the last 18 years. It is about overcoming the obstacles in your way, seeing the good in life and marching to the beat of our drum. When life gives us challenges, we have to face it head on and live for the moment.
18 years later
I don’t believe I’m this super strong person but I can accept that others see this trait in me. I’m incredibly blessed to have been on this journey. I know that I was meant to be her mama and she was meant to be our daughter.